Getting older is a bitch

I just had my ass handed to me by what I'm guessing is a 14-year old kid.

During five grueling minutes I was utterly humiliated in an online game of "Mario Strikers Charged Football" on the Wii. I was run over, dazzled and crushed by this kid with the kind of lightning fast reflexes and tremendous skills that only someone that has yet to finish puberty and has too much free time on their hands can ever possess.

I'm not a bad gamer in any way. I've played endless hours of various games, both online and offline, on my own and against others, with great success. But being over thirty with a job and every day life going on, I don't have six hours every day to devote to every new game that hits the market. I'd like to, but I don't and I never will. This is why from here on as soon as a new game comes out and I decide to play it against others online I'll surely find myself being destroyed by teenagers again and again.

I'm pretty much at peace with this fact though. I just wish that there was some secluded area online where us old timers could graze and play amongst ourselves without having to deal with the angst of combatting hyperactive teeny gamers. Maybe there is such a place, and I just don't know about it. If so, someone please enlighten me.

Too me, it's no longer as much about winning as it used to. It's more about experiencing the games and enjoying them for what they are - exquisite works of digital art. If I get my ass handed to me by another gamer, I don't mind as long as it was a fair fight and I enjoyed myself.

Speaking of which, I just bought "Warhawk" for the PS3 and I look forward to getting my ass kicked time and time again.

At least I'm not alone

So I've been thinking lately that maybe I've downloading a bit too many Virtual Console games for my Wii. But this article on IGN made me feel alright again.

Apparently I'm not the only one going crazy for the retro goodness of Virtual Console. Since the release of the Wii not even a year ago 7.8 million games have been downloaded, for a total sum of about $33 million!

The coverage on Destructoid also made me wonder exactly how much I've forked over to Nintendo for my frequent trips down memory lane. So here's my list:

• Super Mario Bros (500 Wii Points)
• Kid Icarus (500 Wii Points)
• Ice Climber (500 Wii Points)
• Gradius (500 Wii Points)
• Punch-Out!! (500 Wii Points)
• Mega Man (500 Wii Points)
• Metroid (500 Wii Points)
  
• Xevious (500 Wii Points)
• R-Type (800 Wii Points)
• Super Castlevania IV (800 Wii Points)
• Gunstar Heroes (800 Wii Points)
• Super Metroid (800 Wii Points)
• Donkey Kong Country (800 Wii Points)
• Mario Kart 64 (1000 Wii Points)
• Super Mario 64 (1000 Wii Points)

That's a total of 10000 Wii Points. Not that much, but still quite a few.

Oh well, at least now I know that there are many that share my obsession with the past. So how much have you guys spent on Virtual Console games? And be honest ;-)

Game companies, give us your spoils

Every now and again it happens that a much anticipated game gets canceled or for some other reason never gets released.

In recent memory there's "Manhunt 2" which was stopped completely but has since then, after it's developer Rockstar Games had censored parts of the game, been released for the PlayStation 2, Nintendo Wii and PSP in the US. Europe has yet to see it's release since the BBFC rejected even the modified version of the game.

Also there is the case of "Project H.A.M.M.E.R.", a game for the Nintendo Wii announced at E3 2006 which received much initial interest from the gaming community, myself included. The prospect of playing a raging cyborg armed with a huge hammer in his quest to cause massive blunt-force trauma to evil alien robots was one hard to pass on, especially considering the Wii's controls. The Wiimote was practically made for games like this.

However, for reasons unknown "Project H.A.M.M.E.R." will probably never see the light of day since Nintendo decided to cancel or "pause" indefinitely it's development earlier this year.

When I read about this I was beside myself with disappointment and quite a bit pissed off, that's how much I'd been looking forward to crushing malevolent robots with my Wiimote.

Why Nintendo would decide to cancel a game that has already received a fair bit of push and exposure, and that there has obviously existed some sort of playable demo of for well over a year, is beyond me. I think it's a waste and really stupid.

But OK, so they will not finish "Project H.A.M.M.E.R." and I'll have to live with that, but what about that demo that they showed at E3 last year? Could we have that? Slap it up on The Shopping Channel and make it a cheap download. That would at least make me a little happier. At least then we can crush a couple of robots and delight in some aggressive flailing of the Wiimote, even if it's not a full game.

As a matter of fact, why doesn't the game companies do the same for other titles that get canceled but are still kind of playable? I'm sure plenty of gamers would be willing to fork over $5 or something like that for a small morsel of what could've been. I know I certainly would.

The "Manhunt 2" story got a lot funnier a couple of weeks ago when it was widely reported that the fully playable uncensored version for the PS2 was available for download in various locations. It made me chuckle to say the least, but it was no surprise - I knew this would happen sooner or later.

The gaming world wants "Manhunt 2" and it wants it unedited and uncensored. I'm not saying that the final release isn't a great game even though lots of gore has been taken out of it, but the uncensored version is really the game as it was meant to be, and that's way the gamers want it.

It's later been revealed that the leak that put the game out there for download was someone working at Sony in Europe. Normally I wouldn't condone this sort of behavior, making intellectual property available for illegal download I mean, but in this case I say give the guy a friggin' medal!

I have no idea why this guy took the risk and did what he did, but I'm hoping it has to do with him being someone who actually gives a shit about gaming as an art form and understands that as such the uncensored game deserves to be made available.

More than anything though, this effectively shows that censorship doesn't work and is just plain stupid. Just like me and my friends found a way to get uncut copies of gory horror movies back when I was a teenager, as long as an uncensored version exists of a game or any other kind of media, it will eventually end up in the hands of those who really want it.

So let grown ups decide for themselves what they want to play or watch. Period. Censorship is stupid and doesn't work.

And give us the spoils of your canceled projects. Now.

And the Idiot-Of-The-Month award goes to...

Akira Yamaoka, the sound designer for "Silent Hill V"! In a recent interview on Wired this Konami employee is quited as saying in response to if there will be a version of said game for the Nintendo Wii:

No plans. The Wii user isn't a hardcore user.

What the fuck?! I'm so friggin' tired of all this "hardcore gamer" bullshit. I love the Nintendo Wii, I can play it for hours and hours until my hands bleed, and I play all kinds of games too.

Sure, I play "Wii Sports" like a maniac at times, and I indulge myself in a lot of retro gaming courtesy of the Virtual Console. And of course I love that silly plumber and just about every game he's been featured in, especially the "Mario Kart" series. But I also play games like "Resident Evil 4", which is as hardcore as they come with it's gallons of blood splatter and delicious horrors galore, and I've been looking forward to the gruesome and very adult "Manhunt 2" for the Wii since practically forever.

But apparently I'm not "hardcore" since I'm playing the Wii and not an easily overcooked red-ring-of-death flashing Xbox 360 or an overpriced brick with less than five good games like the PlayStation 3. Give me a break...

I've got a big "fuck you" right here for Mr. Yamaoka and anybody else that insists on this "Wii is not for hardcore gamers" crap. In fact, I'll take on anybody claiming this in the steel cage and we'll see who's hardcore or not. And Akira, that means you too. Bring it on bitch.

11 days 'til Samus

Do you own a Nintendo Wii? Is it hooked up to the internet?

Well then... Have you downloaded the free preview clips of "Metroid Prime 3: Corruption" yet?

If not... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?

The clips are very cool and if I was interested in this game before I'm completely obsessed with it now. I'm so happy that the really awesome games finally are starting to pour over the Wii, just like it deserves.

October 26th will be a glorious day in video gaming history, that I am sure of.

Hilarious competition! Win a Wii!

If I didn't already own a Nintendo Wii and could get my friggin' webcam to work on my Linux-box I'd so enter this:

Mario Kart to the rescue!

With both "Manhunt 2" and "Project H.A.M.M.E.R." being effectively shut down the dreams I had for my Wii game collection have been dealt some pretty severe blows the past few months. But now there is once again sunshine on the horizon. "Mario Kart Wii" is coming!

This preview article is showing every Wii fanboy that there is a bright future ahead of us. The screenshots are not very sharp but they reveal enough to make my mouth water and my fingers itch. I want this game now!

I've been in love with the "Mario Kart"-games since practically forever and this one looks like it will be the best one yet. The thought of playing against up to eleven other people online gives me the chills. It will be fucking awesome!

Luckily, since this is a Mario-game there is absolutely no way it will not reach the stores. "Mario Kart Wii" will be mine, and hopefully sooner rather than later. I can hardly wait.

AWESOME.

So work is out is out of the question.. Wii anyone?

We had a temporary power outage at work the other day, and because of this the IT-department (where I work) was left without any means to do any real work. So we basically got a couple of hours off until the electricians could get the power working again.

So this is what we did:

Yeah, that's right - Wii Sports Boxing! Our sysadmin lives just across the street and he has a Wii. Kick ass!

I'm hoping for a power outage once a week from now on ;-)

That's me on the right by the way...

Link is my homeboy

I finally took some time to clear some more of "Legend of Zelda: Twilight princess" for the Nintendo Wii and I gotta say I'm loving it more and more for every minute of gaming.

I never thought that a Zelda-game could be spooky like this one is from time to time, while at the same time maintaining the same childish playfulness that I've grown accustomed to from playing the previous games in the series.

So I just finished a two hour and twenty eight minute session and I can't wait until the next time I can clear my schedule enough to immerse myself in this game again.

Awesome, just plain awesome, is what it is.

And also mad props and love to my girlfriend for letting me hog the living room TV for almost three hours on a weeknight ;-)

I so need this game to come out!!!

It's coming sometime in 2007. Last I heard it was June but that seems like years away since I want it so much!

Must. Smash. Robots. With. Huge. Hammer. NOW.

Oh, and the game is "Project H.A.M.M.E.R." for those of you not familiar with it already.

Nintendo, bodyslamming the competition

There really seems to be no stopping Nintendo these days. They are murdering the competition on both the handheld-market and as far as ordinary consoles go.

Microsoft is still in the race since the Xbox 360 is selling very well and let's not forget that it is a pretty sweet machine with a shitload of awesome games. But what is up with Sony? Are they even trying to compete or have they completely shot themselves in the foot, head and ass already? Sure looks like it to me. I mean, damn, even the GameBoy Advance, is outselling the PS3 in the US. Granted, there is quite a difference in price and probably very different target audiences but it's still pretty embarrassing for Sony to have their spanking new, state-of-the-art, seventh generation console be outsold by a six years old device.

It'll be really interesting to see what happens after this upcoming Friday when the PS3 is finally, however in crippled form, released in Europe. People over here have waited four months longer than in the US and Japan. Now let's see how many lost interest and bought a 360 or a Wii months ago.

In the short time that the Wii has been out it's sold an incredible 1.62 million copies in Europe and it is still almost impossible get your hands on one. There's no way the PS3 is beating that, that I am sure of. Even in the markets where the PS3 is available it is being hammered by the Wii being outsold two to one. Yay Nintendo!

Kick. Ass.

That's basically all I have to say on the matter.

Backwards compatibility

This article puzzled me a bit. OK, so well over a year after the release of the Xbox 360 the console's developers are "reducing the focus on backwards compatibility"?

I'm sorry, but isn't the whole point with backwards compatibility that it should already be implemented at the time of launch? Isn't the idea that people that bought the previous model should be able to play their old games on the new console once they've bought one, and not fifteen months later? That's at least what I thought backwards compatibility was all about, and this is also one of the main reasons I will not be buying a 360 anytime soon.

For a good example of what backwards compatibility really should be maybe the 360 team should take a look at what the Wii does with GameCube-games - it actually PLAYS them ALL! Imagine that, and it's done so since launch. Oh yeah, and so did the Nintendo DS with all Gameboy Advance-games.

Chris Hecker is a piece of $#&%!

And by that I mean "a piece of shit".

If you didn't quite get that, read this and you'll soon find out who Chris Hecker is and what lovely things he had to say about Nintendo's latest console at GDC 2007.

Mr. Hecker's outburst is some of the most juvenile bullshit I've read in quite a while. He actually claims that because the Wii uses hardware inferior to that of the Xbox 360 and the Playstation 3 Nintendo doesn't "give a shit about games as an art from". Please... Get off your high horse and shut the fuck up. How old are you? Twelve?

Since when does "more" automatically mean "better"? Is a painting or other piece of art automatically superior simply because it uses more expensive paints for example? Isn't the artistic parts something that lies within the craftsmanship itself? The game's story? How much fun people have while playing it? I'm sorry Chris, but you're a complete retard.

Nintendo has managed to produce games in the past that myself and millions of others still enjoy over twenty years later. I think they know just a little bit more about "games as an art form" than you do, you pompous little shit.

I sincerely hope Mr. Hecker, who in case you missed it works for Maxis, the studio developing "Spore" for the Wii and plenty of other games for said console, gets fired for his moronic outburst at GDC 2007. The video gaming industry simply doesn't need all these stupid fucks that are more interested in dick-measuring contests than in fun games.

Hecker has apologized for his rant but personally I think that his second rate lame ass apology doesn't quite cut it. It's too little too late and I don't think he's being sincere at all. More likely he's performing some damage control because he's been ordered to do so by his bosses.

I'm really sad to see the industry producing and nurturing people with this elitist attitude towards what is considered a good video game. It's supposed to be about having fun. Get it Chris? F-U-N, FUN!

To mod or not to mod, that is the question

The first modchips for the Nintendo Wii are now available for purchase and offers of "professional" modding have started to appear. In connection with this I had a discussion with a friend and fellow Wii-owner about wether it is a good idea to have a modchip installed this early in the game.

My friend can't wait to mod his Wii but personally I've chosen to wait, and I'll probably wait for quite a while too. Being the owner of a severely modded and highly treasured Xbox this might seem like odd behavior, but let me explain.

I firmly believe that it should be the right of every consumer to do what ever he/she likes with any piece of hardware that he/she buys. Unfortunately most hardware manufacturers, especially those making video game consoles, don't share this view of consumer rights. This is understandable in a way, since (and I'm being realistic here) the primary reasons for installing modchips is wanting to be able to run "backups of your games" (most likely pirated copies downloaded from the internet) and imported games, and this is exactly the kind of behavior that Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony want to thwart.

Since modchips are considered the enemy by the console manufacturers and the game makers they will naturally try and fight this. With both the Xbox 360 and the Wii receiving software updates
via internet connectivity they now also have a good channel for distributing their counterattack. So what's to say that Nintendo doesn't find a way to make life difficult for anyone that goes ahead and installs a modchip in their Wii by bundling software for this purpose in the next channel update for example? Sure, several of the modchips boast a "stealth mode" but do we know exactly how this "stealth mode" works or if it works at all? What's to say that Nintendo doesn't find a way to trick the "stealth mode" once they've gotten to know a little more about the modchips? Oh yes, you can be damn sure that the people at Nintendo will have ordered and dissected every kind of modchip available already and they will continue to do so with any new or updated chips that appear.

Imagine that you install a modchip and are all happy going about with your "backup games", homebrew antics and whatever else, and then one day an update locks you out of the Shopping Channel or disables some other feature in your Wii. Not fun, not fun at all, but not an unlikely scenario none the less.

So what I'm saying is that I choose to wait and let other people find out how good these modchips are. In a year or so when we know more, especially about Nintendo's attitude towards it all and how hard they will fight it, I might spend the money and get my Wii modded. The sole reason being, of course, that I wanna be able to play backups of my store-bought games ;-)

"Kid Icarus" is available for Virtual Console!

Holy cow! I just gotta get my internet-access back soon! One of my favorite NES-games of all time is finally available for Virtual Console!

Since I first learned about Virtual Console I've been wishing for "Kid Icarus" to be realeased. Now it is and I can't download it because my ADSL hasn't been reconnected yet! I think I'm gonna explode right now!

Or maybe I'll just go play some "Mario Kart 64" instead.

All hail the awesome Virtual Console!

A traitor in our midst

Not that many of my friends are a whole lot into video games. It's just a select few and out of those few even fewer share my enthusiasm for the Nintendo Wii and even fewer still own one themselves. Sadly that number recently went down by one too.

One of my friends, the traitor shall remain nameless, recently sold his Wii with the explanation that he's "gonna by an Xbox 360 instead". Further, he went on claiming that there are almost no good games on the market or on the way for the Wii. Also, he claimed that all the games out there are "basically for kids". Needless to say, I let him have it in a big verbal way.

There are plenty of good games for the Wii that aren't "for kids" already in stores and, very importantly, more on the way. Just by mentioning the fact that "Manhunt 2" is coming to the Wii got my friend studdering a bit with regret (although he'd never admit this), and that's not all. "Project H.A.M.M.E.R." looks like it might be really cool for example, and there's lots more.

Agreed, Nintendo as always had a lot more "child-friendly" image and over all strategy but even if all Nintendo-games were cute and cuddly (which they aren't), far from all games for their consoles are published by Nintendo themselves. There are plenty of third-party companies developing games for the GameCube, GameBoy Advance, DS and Wii. So basically my friend's claims are bullshit.

And another thing, buying a new console is not a valid reason for selling one of the consoles you already own. Sure you can buy an Xbox 360 or a Playstation 3, but unless you're short on cash you don't have to sell your Wii, Dreamcast or whatever in order to do so. It's perfectly fine to own two, three or fourteen consoles! And since lack of funds was not given as an excuse this one doesn't hold valid in my friend's case either.

When inquired about the reasons for choosing an Xbox 360 the number of existing good games was given and the fact that he wanted to play online with another friend of ours, both perfectly valid reasons that I have no real problems with. There are a lot of good games for the 360, it's been out a year longer than the Wii so that's only natural, and I hear Xbox Live is pretty neat (I haven't tried it out myself though).

But why sell your Wii you moron?!?!?!?! I feel betrayed.

Yes, I'm a huge Wii-fanboy. Got a problem with that? Well, fuck you then.

A little exercise is better than none you moron

This article really blew my mind. It almost frightens me how goddamn stupid some people are.

OK, so kids play video games. I get that some people might not think that it is the most productive way for them to spend time but hey, kids like playing video games. So shouldn't parents be happy that at least the Wii gets them off their asses and moving about at least a little bit? (You don't have to play like a madman with arms and legs flailing after all, although I find myself that it sometimes helps quite a bit *LOL* Just make sure you're at safe distance from anything that can get harmed if you hit it... (see previous post))

Things could after all be worse. Practically no other console offers and demands the amount of movement during normal game play that the Nintendo Wii does.

So parents should rejoice while the Wii makes their otherwise lazy kids sweat a little. Or at least shut the fuck up, OK?

Surprise! Only idiots get injured playing Wii

This thread in the forums at SomethingAwful really put a smile on my face. Mainly because I've said the same thing myself more than once.

The fact of the matter is that the whole "Wii-damage-and-injury"-affair is retarded and exaggerated to the extreme. Nobody in their right mind plays their Wii in such a violent fashion that there is any real risk of people or property getting damaged.

And the people suing Nintendo for damages claiming that they only played the console as instructed by the accompanying users manual are full of it. Please tell me where in the documentation supplied with the Nintendo Wii it says that you should play like a total spazz? And specifically, where does it say that you should let go of the Wiimote? Or throw it as hard as you possibly can towards your TV? Morons.

You see, if you don't do any of the above things you, everyone around you and your belongings will be totally fine, I assure you.

Plus, I'm 100% sure that most of the reported damages are fake, especially those regarding broken TVs. I mean, come on, do you know how HARD you have to throw something to even make a dent in some TVs, let alone break through the glass and plant the Wiimote there (like I've seen pictures of)? It's virtually impossible. People are breaking their stuff just to be part of some retarded trend. "Dude, my playing style is so crazy I broke my TV!" Fuck you, you retarded fuck. I don't buy that bullshit at all.

It's called "innovation", not "penis measuring contest"

And here's some one else that's gotten the point the Wii is trying to make (and managing very well at that).