I hate the iPhone

It's not even out yet (unless you're special) and I've never seen one in real life, but damn, do I ever hate the iPhone.

To be more precise it's not the actual gadget I hate as much as all the exaggerated hype and media hoopla surrounding it. For goodness sake people! It's a friggin' cellphone! It's not some magical device that will bring peace, stability and prosperity to the Galaxy.

Goddamnit, there are actually people camping outside of the Apple Store on 5th Avenue in New York already, just to be the first to get one. I'm sorry, but that's simply retarded.

Every damn tech news site I read is completely drowning in iPhone-spam (i.e. repetitive articles about how awesome it will be) and I'm just sick of it. On top of it all now that's it's just a couple of days until release the reviews are starting to pop up. I wanna puke.

But it's not just the hype that gets on my nerves, it's also the fact that I don't see what is really that special about the iPhone. Sure, it's most certainly a nice gadget, Apple's stuff usually is one way or another, but it's not that great. I mean, calm down people.

Just by reading not much more than the specs on Apple's website I quickly find the following serious flaws:

• It's just a GSM-phone, i.e. no 3G. That sucks.
• No videocamera, and that means no videochat. This from the computer manufacturer with the largest install base of webcams of all. Suck-o-rama.
• It can't send MMS-messages. Come fucking on! Can you say "medieval technology"?
• The camera is just 2 megapixels. Hardly impressive.
• No support for other video-formats than MOV and MP4. That means no DivX/XviD, which means it's hardly an ideal video playing device. More suckage.
• You can't use songs as ringtones. Wow, that's really fresh for a cellphone released in 2007.
• No removable battery. Are you kidding me?
• Non-expandable storage space. No memory-cards, nothing. Oh man, more suckage.
  
• Apple decides what provider you can use, not you. Suckfest deluxe.
• And finally, taking into account all of the above, it is way too expensive.
• Being a programmer myself I find the lack of an API for the iPhone very disturbing. Sure, Steve says it's all gonna be webapps run from within the phones browser, but no matter how awesome the web2.0 and AJAX revolution is there are still a shitload of things that simply can't be done with webapps. So yes, a real API would be nice.

That said, will someone please give me one real valid reason why this should be seen as such a revolutionary and a must-have item? Yes, I've seen the demo-movie on Apple's website and I know all about the snazzy touch-screen and its glorious sexiness. But hey, the fact that Apple make great user interfaces shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone and still, no matter how awesome the GUI is, it doesn't make up for the lack of features.

Or are you gonna spend the time you would sending MMS-messages to your friends flipping windows about and pinching stuff on the screen instead? And instead of videochatting with your peeps, maybe you can watch a video and gasp in awe when the movie pivots automatically as you rotate the device? Wow dude, that's real productive and worthwhile.

There is basically nothing that the iPhone does that my Nokia N80IE can't do, or at least nothing really significant, and it does everything noted above that the iPhone doesn't. In comparison the new wonder from Apple is a technological cripple. My cellphone (or any other phone out there) is however not enjoying the most tremendous tidal wave of hype ever like the iPhone is.

So for $499 I could buy a phone that compared to my current cellphone more or less sucks but has the power to make all Apple-fanboys wet themselves in awe? No thanks.

And please stop yapping about it. Really. STOP.

I'm sorry, but you're too much of an asshole for that cellphone

One recent occurrence in our high technological society that really ticks me off is that of people with MP3-playing cellphones that walk around with music playing through the cellphone-speaker. You've probably stumbled upon a couple of these morons roaming our streets and shopping malls yourself.

They wander around with (most of the time) third rate bullshit R'n'B streaming from the substandard and loudly crackling speakers of their cellphones as if everybody in the world had the same crappy taste in music that they have.

Hey fuckheads, I'm not interested in listening to R-Kelly against my will while I'm shopping for groceries OK? Turn the shit off right now dumbass!

What is it that motivates these morons to terrorize their surrounds like this?

It can't be that they think the song is so awesome that they simply have to share it with everybody, because there's no chance in hell of making out wether it's a good song or not when it's wailing from a tiny speaker on somebody's cellphone and completely destroyed by distortion.

Could it be that they think somebody will be impressed that they own a MP3-cellphone? If so, they're even dumber than I thought. Hey cockbrains, everybody and their dog has a cellphone that plays MP3s these days, it doesn't make you special!

I suggest that cellphone dealers from here on give their customers an IQ-test and check for any signs of an asshole personality before selling them an MP3-cellphone. If they don't, I just might be arrested for assaulting a moron with his own cellphone in the near future.

Cellphone-toting assholes of the world, consider yourselves warned.

No, Linux can't save Palm. It's just not that simple.

It has been widely reported that Palm Computing is gonna put out PDAs in the near future that run on Linux-based software.

Almost as widely, articles like this have been popping up asking the in my opinion very silly question: "Can Linux save Palm?"

To anybody that knows anything about Linux, who actually knows what it is, the obvious answer is "NO". Linux is an operating system kernel, not a magic wand. Simply basing your new product on Linux will not make the product an instant success, although Linux is truly awesome and I love it to bits (and bytes).

Just like a flashy car will not make you a world-class race car driver, Palm Computings new PDAs based on Linux will not automatically be awesome products, boost sales and save the company. The software will probably be better and more stable, but the decline in purchases of PDAs is by no means simply an effect of previously crummy software. The time for the PDA is simply over. The new king of the hill is the cellphone.

A high-end smartphone/cellphone today does everything a PDA is supposed to do and everybody already has one. Take my cellphone for example, a Nokia N80. This phone plays music and videos, it has a really good calendar that helps me remember and keep track of things, I can read PDFs and MS Office files with it, it's got bluetooth, wifi, GPRS and 3G to connect me to other devices and the world, and loads of other crap that I have yet to discover. Now tell me, why would I need a PDA? I wouldn't.

My phone isn't even the most advanced cellphone out there. There are smartphones that are twice as expensive and that contain even more software and magic than mine does. It is my firm belief that the advancements made in cellphone technology have effectively killed the PDA and that's the bottom line ('cuz Stone Cold said so).

Basically the only reason for owning a PDA these days is because you love gadgets and need to have more of them. Otherwise, you'll settle for a modern cellphone.