Things I learned from "WarGames - The Dead Code".

• Terrorists love to play online games, and they're really good at it too.


• If you play a war-themed game really well, the government will think you're a terrorist.


• Supercomputers can talk and their insides light up and flash when they're processing data.


• When something is written to or displayed on a computer screen, it always makes some sort of beeping noise.


• When a user is denied access to a remote computer system a deep bloopy noise is made and the screen goes blank.


• Articifical intelligence always equals hostility towards the human race.


• The more powerful computer, the more unrealistic and crazy 3D-swirling graphical user interface.


• Computer-savy teenagers can do anything even remotely imaginable with any and all pieces of information technology hardware, especially if there's a cheap joke involved.


• You can use Photoshop to make fake passports. Really. You can.


• If you're gonna make a movie that really sucks, be sure that the title and absurd story at least does a good job of raping the legacy of a real classic piece of cinema.

This has been some of the most loathsome ninetyfive minutes of my life. The only thing that could've made this movie any worse would've been an appearance by Steven Seagal. Oh well, maybe he'll appear in the sequel...